Member-only story
People with avoidant attachment tendencies often struggle with three key relationship elements:
- Intimacy — Emotional, physical, or sexual connection
- Vulnerability — Being open, transparent, and honest
- Commitment — Exclusivity, “being all-in,” or marriage
For avoidants, these expectations trigger deep-seated fears, leading to distancing behaviours. However, not all avoidants are the same. Let’s break it down.
Dismissive Avoidants (DA)
Dating a dismissive avoidant feels like taking a scenic drive with someone who prefers complete silence. It is peaceful at first, but the lack of depth becomes unsettling after a while.
When emotional connection is required, they tend to withdraw. If the relationship gets “too real,” they leave — sometimes abruptly.
- You tell them, “I missed you.”
- They respond, “I need space.”
- What they really mean: “I’m emotionally shutting down, so I don’t have to deal with this.”
Next thing you know, they’re out at 2 AM, playing gamesand drinking, all under the guise of “self-care” and “independence.”
